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Honoring the Ending
I have recently been experiencing a death in a
relationship with my partner that has been my world for the past
12 years. As I am being asked to stretch and grow, the life that I
grounded in and recognized and identified as me needs to change. Along
with that change comes the letting go of relationships that are ready
for their own death and reincarnation. Nothing has quite prepared me
for this experience. My Spirit continues to say to me, "Come back
home to me and let it just happen. Don't resist, just trust." I
was guided to move into trust of my future and the outcomes of which
are unknown. I am in territory uncharted in this current lifestream and
have no GPS for this. Yet when I hold the hand of my Spirit and follow
the guidance, calm settles over my emotional body and I am in complete
surrender of my own evolution. Within me, accompanying the dark night
of the soul is the breaking rays of the first light of dawn. Death
seems to require a deep solitude to allow the waves and movement of the
death the space and time it needs to pass.
As I sit and watch my husband and friend move about his day, I have a
deep respect for what we have together chosen to engage in consciously.
In the beginning to choose to share our life together and then now
knowing when it is time to part. Choosing with eyes wide open to move
from what was secure, familiar and predictable into the unknown out of
respect for our own growth and that of our partner. When our dog,
Rufus, died in 2004 from bone cancer, we stood on the top of Mt. Tam
releasing his ashes into the wind along his favorite hiking trail. I
remember we grabbed hands tightly as we let Rufus' last remains blow in
the wind. Holding hands was significant. In that moment we didn't want
to forget Rufus' life and wanted to honor his death and what having him
in our lives meant to us. In the same way, the sharing of this death
and ending of our marital relationship requires the same love and
respect we carried within us as when we first joined and started our
life together.
Knowing when it is time to part, I am coming to find, is
truly a significant rite of passage on the Path of the Initiate.
Through the letting go we can experience the ultimate surrender to our
Soul's journey. I found that the moment I made the choice to let go of
my relationship and surrender to my life's path, my life changed
forever. The events that followed and the individuals that crossed my
path were all instrumental in the affirming and the mirroring to me of
my choice. There was no turning back at this point, no matter how much
at times I may have wanted to. I had changed and had grown well into my
next stage of growth and all it took was my saying yes to the change
that was beckoning. This life follows our lead, as I always say, and
therefore, we are being asked to lead our life consciously with
integrity and from our deepest truth. They say that this journey is not
for the faint of heart because there is nowhere to hide. There is
nowhere to escape from who you are and what you need to face in
yourself or in your relationships. Those issues will continue to arise
and confront you until you awaken to their message for you.
This is a joyous and truly miraculous time to be alive.
I invite you to share with me in all that is passing in us and in all
that is ready for rebirth. May the movement of this sacred passage be
filled with love, ease and grace!
Much
love to you on your journey,
Denise
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